Fleeting Moments of Fairness
by MiraiYume
Summary: -Oneshot- What is fair is all about perspective.


Author's Notes: This takes place during/after Journey's End. It's a short work containing 3 different POV's with reflections on how things ended up. I tried to make it more stream of consciousness, so I hope that doesn't make it too difficult to read. Fairness is all about perspective. Please enjoy!

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

* * *

**Fleeting Moments of Fairness**

* * *

She knew what was wrong with her. Oh, Donna knew, but she'd been hoping, hoping _so much_ that she'd be able to overcome it. Or, at the very least, manage it. Something, anything, that would be enough to be able to keep going. But her stupid human body wouldn't have any of it. She knew she wouldn't be able to deal with it, that it would be the end of her. But she couldn't go back to who she had been before all of this. The empty, vapid life, with only the passing hope that things would get better, was something she'd hoped she could leave behind forever. Donna watched the Doctor with trepidation. He was speaking, but she didn't want to listen to what he was telling her. His voice still cut through, disrupting her whirling mind. To not travel, to go back to the nothing that was there, had never been an option. Staying with him until the end was all she wanted.

He gripped her shoulders, and Donna knew. She knew what he was going to do to her. He was going to make her live in the worst way possible. He thought he was being fair, but in her mind this was the same as death. No, worse than death. It was one thing to experience something and grow old. At least then she could remember it, could cling on to the happiness and wonder she once knew, while suffering the lonely life on Earth.

"We had the best of times."

His voice brought a cold fear, his hands on her temples brought panic, and he blurred before her as tears threatened to fall. Desolation overtook her, and then it happened. He was taking them from her, hiding her precious memories, and it wasn't fair. He would say it was the only way, but he wasn't being fair to her; he was taking the only thing that made her life worth living. As the memories slipped past her conscious mind, she remembered for the last time the places, the emotions, the experiences, and his face. The act itself was painless, but forgetting was more painful than she could have imagined. Entirely overwhelmed, sadness surged throughout her. By taking care of her, he was also leaving her. And then Donna felt no more.

* * *

Standing there on that dumb beach again, Rose couldn't stop the heavy feeling of dread from washing over her. Was this it, was he was dumping her off again, after she had tried so hard to get back to him? Didn't he understand? Staying with him until the end was all she wanted. She didn't get what was going on at first, even when she heard what the Doctor told her. She still didn't understand when she heard what Donna said. But then, when the other Doctor, the new Doctor, told her that he would age with her, and that he would stay with her, that she could be with him forever...she started to understand.

But, it wasn't right. It wasn't fair. It wasn't the same Doctor. It wasn't _her_ Doctor. And so she did the only thing she could think of. She asked both Doctors to answer the question she always knew the answer to. Perhaps it wasn't necessary, and maybe she didn't really need the answer. But she wanted to hear him say it, admit it...she craved that. Her Doctor wouldn't answer her, so like him, because he knew that she knew the answer. Still, knowing isn't the same as hearing, and the new Doctor fulfilled that very human need, letting the words slip out from memories and wishes into real life.

Emotion is a funny thing. Longing and desire, want and need, aching and craving, love and despair. A kiss. She was just a foolish human girl. In her lapse of emotion, her Doctor got away. All she had fought for vanished before her eyes. As she watched the TARDIS disappear, Rose felt the emptiness more acutely than ever. The new Doctor approached her, held her hand, something that felt natural and right, something that was comforting, but didn't feel like enough.

Yes, for all intents and purposes, it was him. At the same time, it wasn't. Standing there, left behind, she knew she had what she wanted...who she wanted. He'd taken care of her in the end. But he'd tricked her and left her all the same. And it just wasn't fair.

* * *

Sarah Jane told him he had a family, the biggest family on Earth. But everyone in the family had someone else, someone besides him. He'd said that himself.

He traveled a lot, and he made a lot of friends, and everyone had grown close; it all made sense given the extreme nature of the situations. But people came and went. Well...not everyone. Those that told him they wanted to be with him forever...he knew he couldn't give them that, not the way they meant. To do so wouldn't be fair to either party. So he showed them the universe, opened up their eyes, and then gave them better options than endless travel with a lonely Time Lord. He took care of them so they wouldn't be hurt, and they never seemed to appreciate it. Stepping alone into the TARDIS, he felt the emptiness of the place like he never had before. Why was he unable to shake this?

Hadn't he given Rose what she longed for most? Hadn't he given her what she wanted to be happy? It was impossible, but he had given her what he should have been unable to give her. Leaving her had still broken him something in him.

Hadn't he given Donna what was most precious? Hadn't he given her her life to live? After all, it was better to live and not remember, than to die a that death could have been averted. Saying goodbye to her, without a second glance from her, had still broken him something in him.

Never appreciated, no matter what he did for them. It was as if it was never enough. And now, alone, he sighed. It wasn't fair.


End file.
